New Explorations

The Nature of Exploring

When I was growing up, my family took lots of camping trips. We would spend a few days in the woods, hiking trails and visiting small towns by day and sleeping in tents by night. Eventually, my family overall preferred staying in cabins, but we still enjoyed taking time each year to go out to the woods and explore nature. My parents would sometimes have to get on my case when I was a little kid because I wanted to jump on the trees, climb rock piles, stand in the middle of the overflowing creeks, and pretty much do whatever sidetracked me off the trail. Even though I may have lost some of that energy or physicality over the years, I still enjoy going on hikes and taking time to explore the space around the trail.

My version of hiking when I was 10...and 20.

During this past summer, my parents hosted a graduation party for me since I finished my undergrad at MSU. It was a warm and humid afternoon, but it was super sunny, so my little kid cousins (well the children of my immediate cousins anyway) wanted to go play outside. Especially the brothers Austin (age 12 then) and Ty (age 8 then). We did some sports for a bit before having to take a cooling break inside. I was about to recommend that we go explore the woods in my backyard next before one of the brothers excitedly asked me if we could go walk through the woods. So after getting permission and bug spray, a band of us gathered in the backyard. Myself, Austin, Ty, my brother Adam, and my cousin (and previous roommate) Jeremy.

Now, Austin and Ty live in Wentzville, which is a more rural and less populated area compared to St. Charles. I assumed that they had at some point gone out exploring the woodlands around their house or had gone hiking before. Turns out I assumed wrong. These kids were excited but nervous about their first independent experience of going into the woods. One was afraid he wouldn't be able to recognize poison ivy and get covered in it (they were wearing a sleeveless shirt and shorts cause it was summer and all) while the other was concerned about spiders crawling all over him. It took a lot of reassurance from Adam, Jeremy, and myself to convince them to go into the woods.

Come on, boys. The woods aren't that creepy.

Their attitude towards exploring those woods is typical of the way I feel about new things in my life. I'm excited about the prospect of the adventure, going to see new sights and having an adventure in the wilderness. I'm excited about the idea of the exploration. It's when I finally get there, when I come to the final moment of choosing whether to go forward or turn back, that I get nervous. Nervousness usually arrives because of the unknown and the risk I take in the adventure.

Like when you're not sure if the salad bar is the best choice for dinner

Uncertainty and Nerves

There was one spring break during college where my family took a mini-vacation to the Lake of the Ozarks. We rented a cabin deep in the woods and just took time to hike and relax. We had arrived separately because I was heading back to Springfield after the trip while the rest of the family would head back home. My original plan was, after the family would leave, to stay another night in the cabin by myself and leave for Springfield the next morning. I wanted to have time out in the wilderness to write and practice guitar and allow the space to influence my creativity. Well, after the first night in the cabin, I realized how much more comfortable and non-creepy my bedroom in Springfield was and left the trip the same time my family did.

No, but I am afraid of the monsters and animals that will come to eat me in the dark

Before coming to the Northwest, I knew joining Reach Youth Ministry was going to be quite the exploration experience. I hadn't really seen this part of the Northwest before, I was struggling to fundraise towards my goal, I didn't really know anyone else that was joining, I had only been on one other flight before, and I had almost no idea what I would really be doing in this ministry. I knew that I would be excited to see the mountains and the beauty of places like the state of Montana. Because of how new everything was to me, I did not really know what to expect, so I was nervous that I would not have a good experience.

When I first arrived in Yakima, I wanted to walk around the place and see what was within decent walking distance of the house. As I got ready to walk out for the first time, the people around me warned me to avoid certain areas because we are in the sketchy part of town and I would be taking chances depending on where I would go.

You can tell the quality of the neighborhood by the blandness of the movie theater

I paused for a moment, not sure whether I really would come across trouble or not. Then I realized as long as I stuck to busy streets with open views, then I really had nothing to fear. So I went out the door and found that Subway was a good walking distance away.

Fascination with New

Every time I get on a plane to fly, I get super excited to look out the window. It's amazing seeing the cloud formations up close or looking down and seeing snow covered mountains or an area lit up by street lights from thousands of feet above. Flying is a new experience for me and I enjoy seeing different parts of the country in a way I've hardly experienced before. Yet, my favorite mode of transportation is driving my car.

Driving is such a freeing experience, and I get to see so many beautiful things up close. Even though I drove down Highway 44 countless times between home and college, I always found something different to look at and something new to focus on. The various billboards and homemade signs, the old run down farmhouse on the side of the road, a new gas station, a new place to stop at, all of which pale in comparison to the trees and hills and beautiful scenery between Springfield and St. Louis.

A big part of my fascination with exploration, whether its something familiar or not, is having it be a new fresh experience. Whenever I go to Daily Mass, especially at a church or chapel I attend regularly, I try to pick a different spot to sit than where I was yesterday so I can see everything from a new angle. In the theatre world, each rehearsal and each performance involves something familiar, but I try to make it fresh in my mind and pretend like it's a new experience, often times exploring the play and the character with different approaches in each rehearsal process.

That's me in the background, trying to decide whether to pretend to write science-y things
OR switch it up and actually do my history homework.

Over the next couple of months, I will be traveling to more new places around Washington, seeing the state's scenery and meeting different churches and communities. After Reach, I fly back home where I try out new things like getting a permanent job and starting my Master's Degree studies. Every day, I try to explore something new and see something different. Even in the old familiar places, there's something different that requires deeper exploration.