Being A Model of Manhood

Side note: So my computer is weird and due to complications between the blog site and my computer/ movie maker, I cannot post this article as a Vlog like I originally intended. So, for today, I will just put it down as a normal blog post and hopefully have a video blog post on something else next week for you.

I have a quick story to share. Recently I started working in an office at Lindenwood University. One of my new coworkers, after we had gotten past the basic get-to-know-you stage, sat down at my desk a couple of weeks ago. She pulls out her phone with a picture of a friend and said "Do you think she's pretty?". I was kind of caught off guard, being in the middle of work and everything, but the woman in the picture was pretty so I replied quietly "Yeah". So my coworker kind of explained things about her friend and that this friend had been dealing with a lot of jerk guys lately and that she thought that her friend and I would get along real well. And I think she even said something along the lines of "She just needs to meet a really good guy".

Pictured: A good guy, apparently

All of the sudden, there was this pressure on me because I'm just one man who is supposed to be a model for good, real manhood. Yet, that got me thinking more about the individual man's responsibility to be a model of manhood.

Here's what I mean: I have several friends who are women. Every once and awhile on social media, I'll see a post from one of these friends talking about how a guy, a total stranger, held the door open for them and how shocking that was and the post would read something like "Chivalry's not dead". These posts, however, make me just want to shout "I do that for you all the time!"

The struggle is real

All of the sudden, there's this pride that wells up inside of me that thinks "Okay, have you not noticed the dozens of times that I've done that for you?". It's strange how, in these moments, I want to take all of the credit for being a model of manhood but that moment in my story, in the office, I didn't want to take any of the credit for being the individual embodiment of manhood.

It's important for each and every man to live in such a way that we are true models of good, real manhood.

We hear the stories about how women have to deal with jerks all the time. How all the guys they date are just the wrong guy and they're waiting for the right guy. Those wrong guys, those jerks that they deal with, are not living out their role for what true manhood should look like. This can lead to extreme cases, such as what we see exemplified in the NFL player scandals. We see in our society how women have to go through many struggles trying to find the right guy because of the actions of the many jerks not living up to their full potential of manhood.

Pictured: The guy that's been ruining things for men everywhere since middle school

In my own life, I need to constantly ask myself "What must I do to live out a truly authentic life as a man?". Every day I have that responsibility of living out my role as a model of manhood. I need to treat all of the women in my life with respect and care. I often make jokes at the office about being one of the few guys around and constantly being surrounded by women. It has to be understood that that's all kind teasing so that my actions reflect my respect and care for those women I work with. I have to willingly hold doors open for everyone at all times, even if I don't get credit for it.

When it comes to something like dating, I have first and foremost ask the woman out either in person or at least over the phone if I have not met her in person. I have to be romantic and chivalrous from the first date and throughout the relationship, even if it means doing the cheesy stuff. I have to respect the physical boundaries and pursue this woman I am dating with chastity and purity.

I have to be willing to put up with stuff like this from time to time.

I need to take these actions not just for the women in my life, but for the men as well. What I mean by that is I need to be a model of manhood for the guys around me, from my godson to my brother to my cousins to my friends. Even the generation before me, I have to live in such a way that I show those men that everything they demonstrated and taught to me has actually sunk in.

As I continue this journey of discovering true manhood and how to live that out, I need to seek help from others whenever I need to and I need to look to my own role models of manhood. Naturally, majority of my role models are religious, Catholic men. Primarily, my biggest role model is Jesus Christ because He is THE MAN. As His disciple, I have to live out my life as He asks me to live it, which is not always easy but that is what I'm called to do. All of the saints and disciples that have come before me have left legacies of true manhood.

So, a reminder to myself and all the other guys I know. However much we want to take credit for doing the right things as a guy but don't want the pressure of being a model of manhood all the time, it's important to recognize that the way we live out our lives has an effect on the people around us. We don't necessarily need to take the credit all the time, but we must deal with the pressure by living authentic lives as a man.

Saints: Role Models for Men- Sts. Peter and Paul

Yesterday was the Feast Day of Sts. Peter and Paul. Both are awesome and today I decided to highlight some of the incredible things we learn about these men from Scripture.

St. Peter

Made a Mistake/ Picked Himself Up

St. Peter seemed to kind of be the guy who spoke before he acted often during Jesus's ministry. He seemed to think he had the answer and knew what to do, and then through Jesus learned that he was wrong. However, during the Passion of Jesus Christ, we see Peter stumble the greatest. Even though Jesus warned him of the three denials before the cock crows, Peter seems to forget it as he quickly denies knowing who Jesus is three times. Big mistake!

St. Peter, however, becomes the Church's first Pope and one of the first martyrs. How? He admits that he was wrong, and works to set thing right. After Jesus' resurrection, Peter replies to Jesus three times "Lord, you know I love you". He takes on the role of leadership once Jesus ascends into Heaven and leads the early Christians through the beginnings of their evangelization and persecution.

Boss Speaker

During Pentecost, after the Holy Spirit came to the Apostles, they began speaking in various languages and preaching to the Jews. Many were confused, and others thought the Apostles were drunk. St. Peter replied with the first century equivalent of "Dude, it's only 9am!" before launching into an epic speech explaining why it was that the Apostles could speak in tongues and he taught the crowds about the truth of Jesus. At the end, St. Peter asked the people to be baptized in the name of Jesus, and 3000! people were added to the number of Christians that day.

Not to mention, during this time period, Peter and the Apostles were brought before the Pharisees. When the Pharisees would accuse them of crimes and blasphemies and attempt to have the Apostles dig themselves into a hole, Peter always came back with the best response to keep from falling into the Pharisees' traps.

Man of Faith

So one night the Apostles were sailing across the Sea of Galilee and a storm disturbs their boat. They see Jesus walking on the water, at first thinking that it was just a ghost or vision. Peter called out and Jesus invited him out onto the water. Because of his love for Jesus and his faith, Peter stepped out of that boat and walked on top of that rough sea water to join Jesus.

Granted, Peter eventually began to fall and Jesus had to rescue him and rebuke him for his little faith, but just think how amazing it is that, because of his love for Jesus and his desire to follow him, Peter was able to walk on top of the sea even for a short time.

St. Paul

Change of Heart

St. Paul was a strict and dedicated Jewish man before his conversion. He was so dedicated, that when Christianity first came into being, St. Paul (also named Saul) would capture and persecute any Christian person he could find. Just think about that. The man who wrote many of the letters found in the New Testament started out by imprisoning Christian people. However, after a miraculous encounter with Jesus, St. Paul converted and became one of the greatest evangelizers the Church has ever known.

Deep Conviction

St. Paul's characteristic dedication transferred well into his life as a Christian. Often times, when preaching about Jesus in various towns and synagogues, Paul would cause such trouble that mobs of people would gather to beat and stone him. There is one story in Acts that explains that Paul was injured so bad from one stoning that people thought he was dead and dragged him outside the city wells. However, Paul woke up, got to his feet, and walked right back into the city to continue evangelizing to the people like a boss.

Reaching Out

The early Christian movement before Paul was focused on the conversion of the Jewish people. However, it was St. Paul who began to reach out to the Gentiles, the non-Jewish, pagan members of society. At first, this caused a stir within the Christian community, however, St. Peter had a vision and agreed that it was the right thing to do to reach out to the Gentiles. It was St. Paul who was the primary evangelizer to the Gentiles and without him, it might have been some time before Christianity became its own entity that differed from Judaism.

Saints: Role Models for Men- St. John de Brebeuf

I was first introduced to the legacy of this man by my friend Lee Brokaw, who was one of the FOCUS missionaries at Missouri State University during my first two years there.

St. John de Brebeuf was a missionary himself. He traveled with fellow French priests to the Canadian territory. He became one of the first Europeans to explore and chronicle the journey from Quebec to 800 miles west into mostly unfamiliar territory. There he became acquainted with the Huron people. He spent many years evangelizing to them, informing them of and showing them God and the Catholic faith, which they had never known before.

Just imagine the scene. Being far, far away from home or familiar civilization. Becoming part of a community that primarily speaks a foreign language and lives a lifestyle that is totally different than anything you experienced or grew up in, and trying to convert those people. Yet, St. John and his companions did just that in order to reach out to the Huron nation and help them develop their relationships with God. He lived among the people, got to know their customs, became fluent in their language, and wrote out a catechism for them.

St. John overcame obstacles in establishing his relationship with the people. They were, at first, very nervous about him because of his race and whenever something horrible like disease rampaged through, he would get the first blame. Yet, because of his perseverance, St. John managed to evangelize to the people effectively.

Eventually, members of the Iroquois tribe attacked the Huron and captured St. John de Brebeuf and his company. They were martyred in a very brutal, gory, horrific torture. Yet St. John persevered happily. He did not harbor harm or anger against his torturers and killers. He is said to have kissed the stake he was tied to while they slowly killed him and prayed during his torturous death.

St. John de Brebeuf, along with his company and other French missionaries, are great examples for those of us nervous of traveling to new places and unfamiliar territory. They show how to persevere whenever a situation proves difficult. St. John especially shows us how to treat all people with kindness and how to face death happily, rather than with anger in our hearts.

Saints: Role Models for Men- St. Anthony Claret & the Blessed Claretian Martyrs of Barbastro

It's a double header today. Mainly because I wanted to write about the martyrs from Barbastro, yet figured it would be good to introduce the founder of their order first, whom I also wanted to write about. So, here we go!

St. Anthony Claret

First off, no, this is not the St. Anthony that you ask to help you find lost items. St. Anthony Claret is a Spanish priest and bishop. At age 42, he established a religious institute of missionaries with five priests. This became the Claretian Order, members of whom I have met at Catholic Campus Ministry in Springfield. He lived back in the 19th century and became officially canonized in 1950. There are many reasons why I think St. Anthony Claret is a tremendous role model for men.

Jack of All Trades & World Traveler

He was a Weaver and Designer in textile mills in Barcelona. He learned Latin and Printing while working in the mills as well. He was mainly a Writer and Missionary after he became a priest. I'm always impressed whenever I come across men who are multi-talented, and St. Anthony Claret is definitely a man who had experience in a variety of areas. I also am inspired by people who enjoy writing.

This man helped establish Religious Publishing House, a Catholic publishing company in Spain, and wrote or published over 200 pieces of literature. He was able to write about something he is passionate about, which is something we should always strive for in any area of our work. He also traveled to places like Paris, the Canary Islands, Cuba, Madrid, and the Vatican for the First Vatican Council. What guy doesn't have an urge to go on a journey to far away places and experience adventures around the world?

Dedication of Faith

St. Anthony Claret always placed emphasis on the Eucharist and the Immaculate Heart of Mary, whether on mission or retreat or whenever. Both of these, the Eucharist and the Immaculate Heart of Mary, play a huge role in the life of Claretians today. It is said that the Rosary did not leave his hand. St. Anthony Claret also reformed the Archdiocese of Santiago, Cuba, as its bishop. He was known for hearing lots of confessions. He also became infamous in his diocese for opposing concubinage and instructing slaves. It takes courage to stand up for truth amid opposition, but St. Anthony Claret did just that in order to help his diocese grow closer to God.

Assassination Attempt

This man faced an assassin and lived! An assassin in Cuba was hired, but failed to kill St. Anthony Claret. The assassin managed to slash him across his face and wrist before being captured. However, when the assassin was on the verge of receiving the death penalty, St. Anthony Claret intervened and managed to get his would-be killer a prison term instead. He showed us how to be merciful and forgiving by helping save the life of a man who tried to kill him.

Queen

After returning to Spain, he was asked to become the Chaplain to the Queen. However, he did so on three conditions: He resided outside of the palace, he only came to hear the Queen's confessions or to instruct the children, and he would be exempt from court. I think this shows a great example for all of us because St. Anthony did not seek power and politics, but he still preached and did his duty wherever he was called.


Blessed Claretian Martyrs of Barbastro, Spain

I learned of these men when I came to Catholic Campus Ministry. At CCM, there is a beautiful mural that greets visitors. It is a painting of the 51 men, the seminarians, brothers, and priests that were killed in the midst of the Spanish Civil War.

Many of these men were between the ages of 21 and 25. Those that were not killed immediately were imprisoned and awaited execution.

Yet, every single one of them remained faithful to God! They all willingly accepted their martyrdom with joy. They were also very forgiving of their executors and shared their happiness to die for Jesus Christ in notes that they left for their loved ones on Earth.

All of us men, especially men my age, can learn from these martyrs how to joyfully accept God's will and be forgiving and loving towards all people, especially those who persecute or hurt us.