Being A Model of Manhood

Side note: So my computer is weird and due to complications between the blog site and my computer/ movie maker, I cannot post this article as a Vlog like I originally intended. So, for today, I will just put it down as a normal blog post and hopefully have a video blog post on something else next week for you.

I have a quick story to share. Recently I started working in an office at Lindenwood University. One of my new coworkers, after we had gotten past the basic get-to-know-you stage, sat down at my desk a couple of weeks ago. She pulls out her phone with a picture of a friend and said "Do you think she's pretty?". I was kind of caught off guard, being in the middle of work and everything, but the woman in the picture was pretty so I replied quietly "Yeah". So my coworker kind of explained things about her friend and that this friend had been dealing with a lot of jerk guys lately and that she thought that her friend and I would get along real well. And I think she even said something along the lines of "She just needs to meet a really good guy".

Pictured: A good guy, apparently

All of the sudden, there was this pressure on me because I'm just one man who is supposed to be a model for good, real manhood. Yet, that got me thinking more about the individual man's responsibility to be a model of manhood.

Here's what I mean: I have several friends who are women. Every once and awhile on social media, I'll see a post from one of these friends talking about how a guy, a total stranger, held the door open for them and how shocking that was and the post would read something like "Chivalry's not dead". These posts, however, make me just want to shout "I do that for you all the time!"

The struggle is real

All of the sudden, there's this pride that wells up inside of me that thinks "Okay, have you not noticed the dozens of times that I've done that for you?". It's strange how, in these moments, I want to take all of the credit for being a model of manhood but that moment in my story, in the office, I didn't want to take any of the credit for being the individual embodiment of manhood.

It's important for each and every man to live in such a way that we are true models of good, real manhood.

We hear the stories about how women have to deal with jerks all the time. How all the guys they date are just the wrong guy and they're waiting for the right guy. Those wrong guys, those jerks that they deal with, are not living out their role for what true manhood should look like. This can lead to extreme cases, such as what we see exemplified in the NFL player scandals. We see in our society how women have to go through many struggles trying to find the right guy because of the actions of the many jerks not living up to their full potential of manhood.

Pictured: The guy that's been ruining things for men everywhere since middle school

In my own life, I need to constantly ask myself "What must I do to live out a truly authentic life as a man?". Every day I have that responsibility of living out my role as a model of manhood. I need to treat all of the women in my life with respect and care. I often make jokes at the office about being one of the few guys around and constantly being surrounded by women. It has to be understood that that's all kind teasing so that my actions reflect my respect and care for those women I work with. I have to willingly hold doors open for everyone at all times, even if I don't get credit for it.

When it comes to something like dating, I have first and foremost ask the woman out either in person or at least over the phone if I have not met her in person. I have to be romantic and chivalrous from the first date and throughout the relationship, even if it means doing the cheesy stuff. I have to respect the physical boundaries and pursue this woman I am dating with chastity and purity.

I have to be willing to put up with stuff like this from time to time.

I need to take these actions not just for the women in my life, but for the men as well. What I mean by that is I need to be a model of manhood for the guys around me, from my godson to my brother to my cousins to my friends. Even the generation before me, I have to live in such a way that I show those men that everything they demonstrated and taught to me has actually sunk in.

As I continue this journey of discovering true manhood and how to live that out, I need to seek help from others whenever I need to and I need to look to my own role models of manhood. Naturally, majority of my role models are religious, Catholic men. Primarily, my biggest role model is Jesus Christ because He is THE MAN. As His disciple, I have to live out my life as He asks me to live it, which is not always easy but that is what I'm called to do. All of the saints and disciples that have come before me have left legacies of true manhood.

So, a reminder to myself and all the other guys I know. However much we want to take credit for doing the right things as a guy but don't want the pressure of being a model of manhood all the time, it's important to recognize that the way we live out our lives has an effect on the people around us. We don't necessarily need to take the credit all the time, but we must deal with the pressure by living authentic lives as a man.