Determining Manhood

Super Bowl Sunday: 

Being in the state of Washington means I'm in Seattle Seahawks fan territory. It was awesome when they won the Super Bowl, even though plenty of friends back home wanted the Broncos to win (one of the reasons is because Denver is closer to the Midwest than Seattle and we enjoy rooting for the nearest team).

Russell Wilson and team quieted Broncos fans super fast

Seahawks fans were like this the whole week after the Super Bowl

Well, on Super Bowl Sunday, I was posting goofy statuses on Facebook about how I can't choose which team to root for. In all honesty, I didn't care who won because I didn't really know the teams and I had no affiliation with either one so I had no stake in the game. A Facebook friend decided to comment on those statuses. It was my cousin Noel.

I don't really know my cousin Noel. He's from my dad's side of the family, who all live farther away from us than my mom's side and therefore I don't really see any of that side of the family too often. Noel's a couple of decades older than me and I didn't meet him until a few years ago. The only time we've physically been in each other's presence was whenever my family went up to visit my dad's sister and my grandma (last time we saw each other was when my grandma passed away).

Anywho, Noel starts telling me to man up and pick a team. He was trying to find ways of telling me to man up without being offensive. I get that a lot of people don't understand my humor, and that humor is difficult to translate online, but I was incredibly confused because his comments came out of nowhere.

Most people's reactions to my humor AND my reaction to this particularly awkward situation

The one comment that stuck out to me the most is he said to me "C'mon, you are a man...You are an American MAN! You can do this...PICK ONE!". (Side note: Noel, if you happen to be reading this, please stick around for the end of this post).

What Makes an American Man?: 

So, I'm trying to understand what that statement means. Just because I'm American and I'm a Man, does that mean I should be intently interested in who wins the Super Bowl? Am I less of an American or a Man if I don't root for a particular team in the Super Bowl because of how little I care about the game? Am I not an American or a Man if I could really care less about professional football (or professional sports in general)? Keep in mind, I will watch professional sports if I randomly find them on TV and I really enjoy playing sports for fun when I have a group of people to make up teams.

Except for Rugby, which is always more fun to watch than it is to play.

What is an American? Well, I was born in St. Louis, Missouri which automatically makes me a citizen of the United States and I'm proud to say I'm from the Midwest. Am I less of an American because I don't have a bald eagle for a pet and my walls aren't draped in US Flags?

And the winner for The Most American Wall Decoration goes to....

Should I go up to any foreign people I come across and tell them how America is the best country in the world, even though I've never traveled outside the US, so I wouldn't know? Do my personal idols have to be Abe Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, and Stephen Colbert to make me a true American?

Stephen Colbert could be the best Catholic US President since John F Kennedy!

What is a Man? Well, I have male anatomy, I enjoy a good beer, and I like to go adventuring in the wilderness when I can. Am I less of a man if my whole life doesn't revolve around the NFL? Just because I'm not a lumberjack with a footlong beard, does that mean I'm not a dude? Since I didn't spend my weekends in college getting drunk at frat parties and hooking up with random ladies, am I no longer one of the guys?

The epitome of manliness

You get the point. All of the answers to the rhetorical questions above are NO!

Invisible Counselors: 

A little while back, I came across an article on the Art of Manliness about creating a Cabinet of Invisible Counselors. The idea is to come up with a list of men who are role models that inspire you. After gathering that list, you are supposed to know or learn about what makes each man a great model of manliness and be able to imagine meeting with these men when you need advice or guidance.

I really dig this idea because it helps me remember who my role models are and in what ways I need to grow as a man. My personal list mostly consists of holy, Catholic men though there are a few secular role models. My invisible counselors:

-Jesus Christ                                   -Timothy Cardinal Dolan
-St. Paul                                         -Francis Cardinal George
-St. Padre Pio                                 -President Theodore Roosevelt
-St. Anthony Claret                         -John Goodman
-St. Charles Borromeo                    -Martin Sheen
-Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati          -Nikola Tesla

How Do I Define Myself as a Man?:

Let's look at the man at the top of my list. Jesus Christ. He is The Man, the one man I try to follow the most. Every other man on the list is there because there is some sort of characteristic or attitude about them that I enjoy or they are exemplary men who also followed Jesus. In my journey of learning what it means for me to be a man, I look to Jesus and the Gospels in the New Testament to ask myself 'What do I need to do to be more like Jesus? What areas of masculinity is Jesus emphasizing that I'm not exemplifying right now?'.

In the end, my masculinity is not defined by what the American culture is or what other guys say makes me a man or not. I have to define myself as a man according to the innate truths of what the world knows a man is and by what truths stem from my role models. I know that I am a Catholic man first and an American citizen second.


P.S.-Noel, I'm  glad I have gotten to know you, even just a little bit, over the years. I want to get to know you better and be able to communicate with you, whether it's over Facebook or otherwise. Feel free to be honest with me because I want to be honest with you. We may not always agree on things, but that's okay. Just please make it clear whenever you are just joking or when you're being serious so I can respond the same way. I hope we can keep communication lines open and continue getting to know one another as guys from the same family.